Gender disappointment (what no one talks about)
Did you have your heart set on a girl? Or maybe a boy? Well no one ever told me how getting pregnant could be the happiest and most disappointing thing all at the same time.
Brand new mom here and all I ever wanted was my own little girl. Taking her to dance classes, gymnastics, ruffle butt onesies and bows is all I could possibly imagine. And to top it off, I was extremely sick (which many told me was due to girl hormones). Well coming from a family of all girls it was all I ever imagined, until I was told I was having a BOY. My husband was as happy as ever and we had just found out that the baby was perfectly healthy, which should have made me ecstatic. But instead, I sat there and preceded to cry that I didn’t want a boy.
No one ever told me about gender disappointment and as I was now faced with being a boy mom, I asked anyone and everyone I knew to tell me all the good things about being a boy mom. I was shocked to find out that there were other moms who also faced gender disappointment and that I wasn’t the only one. I felt incredibly guilty for not being excited about my baby, especially knowing that some people don’t even make it this far in their pregnancy. It took time to come to terms with no ruffle butts and bows for me. I cried for weeks, which sounds absurd, but having a little boy was honestly something that never entered my mind. I needed to sit in my feelings and discover what being a boy mom meant to me. Trucks, cars, Dino’s and sports on EVERYTHING was not what I had planned but as I dove into more “boy stuff” I realized I could make it my own.
Now I have my little guy, who I couldn’t love more and I happily dress him in neutral tones without a giant Dino on the front (although they do make some cute dinosaur clothes nowadays…and we do own them!). Being a boy mom was not something I had ever thought I’d be and that’s ok! I didn’t need to feel guilty about it and I wasn’t the only one to ever feel this way. I love him dearly and my mindset has completely shifted.
-Allie
