I can’t even look at the baby monitor. It doesn’t break my heart, it shatters it. Leaving for work in the morning is way harder than I thought it would be, and I did NOT think it would be easy.

If you are a mom going back to work right after maternity leave, when your little one is still a tiny little blob of a being, I know its not easy to go back but I promise you it feels easier than now. I went back to work when my daughter was just barely 3 months old, still breastfeeding and pumping. I was late to work almost every day, waking up early, pumping then later in the morning nursing and running on maybe 3 hours of broken sleep. Pumping in between teaching classes with students in the next room.

IT WAS EASIER THAN NOW. Struggling through the day on your own, fine, but now that my child KNOWS me and understands the concept of me leaving ... .NOT FINE.

I am not venting to make other moms scared but I am venting in hopes that other moms going through this know that they are not alone in walking out the door in the morning to go to work with their heart shattering.

I read a quote somewhere that said, “normalize making a change in your career when your priorities change.”

I know that it isn't possible for everyone to make a change in their career, or practical, but even small changes in the flow of your day can help when your priorities shift or change.

For example, as a teacher, I am doing everything in my power to not take an ounce of work home. In years past, I would be working until nine or ten o’clock on revamping tests or making new assignments or more thrilling and engaging labs. But in this season of life, my biggest priority is spending time with my child and making engaging, happy, memorable moments for HER.

It makes me feel a little better when i am walking out the door to leave in the morning, to remind myself that when i get home, shes all mine and im all hers and I will let nothing come between that.

-Anonymous