I have always wanted to be a mom. There was never any question about it. While I knew the being a mom part wasn’t going to be easy, I naively thought the becoming a mom part would be.

Because I am in a same sex marriage, my fertility journey started with a doctor. My wife and I thought I’d get pregnant right away and we started planning exactly when we thought the “best time” to have a baby would be. Except I didn’t get pregnant right away. I did three rounds of IUI, one of which resulted in a chemical pregnancy. Because the process is so expensive and we weren’t having any luck, we decided to transition to IVF… About a year’s worth of shots. Transfer after transfer. Another miscarriage. An endometriosis diagnosis. I still don’t have the words to describe how both disappointing and isolating the experience felt. I had a village, too— a supportive wife, loving friends and family, but I still felt alone in the experience.

My (in)fertility journey taught me how important it is that we, as women, support each other. Girlhood doesn’t just end when we become adults. We need to be there for one another. I have found comfort knowing that while my experience feels uniquely alone, there are so many people who have been in similar situations.

I’m writing this post about a year after I found out I was pregnant with my son. It’s amazing how much things can change. I look back on my experience in awe of how strong my body and mind can be. The same village who supported me through my journey now love and support my son.

-Abigail