I always knew this day would come—the day I’d have to move my baby out of my room and into her own. And I knew it would be hard on me but I didn't realize it would be THIS hard. My daughter is now a little over 1.5 months old, and as much as I know it's the right time for her to sleep in her own room, my heart aches at the thought of it.

We’ve spent every night together, me listening to her tiny breath, her little sighs and grunts. I’ve grown so used to having her right there beside me, where I can reach out and comfort her instantly, where I can just look over and know she is safe, sound, and close. I was not ready to let go of that feeling just yet but knew I had to rip the band aid off.

I know she's growing, and I can’t keep her in my arms forever. At this age, babies are starting to form their own sleep patterns, and it’s important for both of us to get some good rest. (Even though I have been sleeping so awful without her next to me...) I want her to feel independent, but I also want her to feel secure. This transition feels like such a big leap.

The first night felt like the longest night of my life. I kept checking the monitor, listening for her every noise.I am pretty sure I did not blink and just stared at the monitor light. My friend gave me great advice to do our first night on a Friday because odds are this exact sleepless scenario would happen and its best I didn't have work the next day....lol

I know this is just a phase, and I’ll get used to it, but for now, the empty crib is a bittersweet reminder that my baby is growing up—faster than I ever thought possible. It’s hard to let go, but I’m learning that sometimes letting go is part of growing together.

And, maybe, just maybe, getting a full night of sleep is a small win I’ll be grateful for in the long run.